Daddyhood - a post by the Husband

You know, one of the most interesting things about being a new father is the emasculating changes. 

I used to listen to Metallica, MegaDeth, Slayer, Morbid Angel, Fear Factory...a bunch of even more "heavy" bands. These were always on rotation in my car tape deck...and eventually CD player (hey, at least I'm not back from the 8 track days!). 

When my son was first born, I didn't know any lullibies. So I would sing (in a soft, slow way), my favorite metal tunes. 

Do you know the song's that are now constantly playing in my head? Mostly little ditties from Sesame Street. "Sunny days, chasing the clouds away...on my way to where the air is sweet...". There's tons more too. I also find myself humming the theme song to Spongebob Squarepants. 

Just this weekend alone, I've seen more Sesame Street than I have since I was 2. Even considering flipping through the channels. I mean...where's "Electric Company" to break up the monotony?

I mean, I know that metal is slim pickin's nowadays. The shutdown of KNAC was a somber day. But I can't even think of a modern metal band that I like (I loathe new Metallica...even their latest). Sure, I dug Slipknot, but I haven't heard much from them lately. And honestly, I feel weird about listening to the good metal now. What does it look like for a greying man driving a "family SUV" (the equivalent of a mini-van) cranking metal. I guess its less weird than when I crank some video of Elmo singing for the toddler. Sigh... Elmo's World. I've sung/hummed that more in the last week, than any metal tunes in the last few months. 

Now don't get me wrong. I love fatherhood and husbandhood. I just hate oldhood. Getting old sucks! "Its better than the alternative"... Hey! I'm griping! Give me my gripe time! There are no right answers. Just grumbling, some talking under the breath, evil looks, and accidentally humming the theme to "Dora the Explorer'.

Comments

[Dad]

Dear Son in Law,
I get it. With me, it was Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, and Alice Cooper. And it's OK for a graying dad to cruise down the road blasting their favorite rock.

When your wife was around 2 years old, my sister and her husband lived with us for a few months. My brother-in-law and I would cruise the streets of this small Idaho town in which we lived (I think we were the only non-Mormons in town). We cruised in my '65 4 door Buick Electra, in the dead of winter, with all four windows down blasting rock tunes (and some Beach Boys). What did others think? How did it look? We did not care. I still do not care.

I think that's the secret to getting older. It's just change and it's neither good or bad, it just is. And who cares what anyone else thinks? As that great philosopher Popeye said "I am what I am" (or maybe it was Descartes?). Use the change to your advantage my friend or let the change control you and get bummed about it.

My position is that "oldhood" only sucks if I choose for it to suck. I say "embrace the suck!" and just move on and enjoy life. "Oldhood" just is and you make the choice to love it or hate it. But beware; that which we hate we often become. And I think it's easier to love anyway.