Marriage...a non-equal equality...

Husband here... just my opinion... You don't have to share it. Not sure my wife does. :)

You can't have 2 leaders. Period. You need a tie-breaker. You can't be in a situation where 2 people argue, and have equal input into something. Its worthless. One person will finally "give-in" just to hurry along and if they're wrong, they'll need to own up to it. If they were right but gave in, then it just sews seeds of discontent. This is why hierarchy's form a pyramid instead of a tree... Fewer people up top to run things.

I see this problem where I work all the time. I see it in marriage too. I think the only possible thing to do, is for the spouses to AGREE where they are experts. My wife is an expert in many fields where I am not. And vice versa. So in an ideal world, you let the  "expert" lead, and the "follower" simply gives their viewpoint without belaboring the issue (ie: arguing). The expert then can choose to take that viewpoint into consideration or dismiss it, and boldly go forth and lead. 

The problem is, its hard to determine who's an expert. 

That's why when we go and do something, and I don't really care about it, I like to boldly state "Okay, you're the leader on this". I've started this recently, hoping to avoid scenario's like:

ME: "Hm. Its dinner time. Where do you want to go?"

WIFE: "I don't care. Wherever you want is fine by me."

ME: "Ok. How about burgers?"

WIFE: "No, I'm not in a burger mood. How about something else?"

ME: "Ummm...pizza? I'm totally craving pizza."

WIFE: "Nawww...too greasy. How about something else?"

ME: "ARGH! I give up. You choose."

WIFE: "No, you choose. I don't care..."

ME: "WHAT?!?!!!"

<I bang my head on a nearby wall and scream obscenities...I take a verb, then an animal, then a biological waste product, and try to string them together...I call it my frustration Mad Libs>

Now this is pretty innane. But what about cars? She knows some things I don't about cars. And vice versa. But she feels like she's an expert. And she definitely knows SOME more overall than me. But I've also had a different set of experiences. So I usually say okay. She's the expert. But the last time we did this, I was right, and she wasn't. 

Now that I think about it...choosing experts is useless. You know what? The husband should just lead. The wife should just be quiet and obey! That would make life better! Sigh...now if I could only my wife to agree to this. Humbug!

Comments

[Monica]

Wow. I have to say that reading this post made me realize more so that my husband & I are not the only ones out there that have the same above conversation. The difference is that he & your wife are the same & it is you & I that are the same. Thanks for sharing your comically written post with the world :) Keep em' coming! And tell old wifey that she needs to start blogging too. I want to hear her input on life.