We have recently added on to our family. No, we didn't have another child, but we did get a puppy. He is a 50 pound, 5 month old Golden Retriever. I have been working with him to teach him basic doggy manners as well as some more advanced doggy tricks. What I have learned with working with our pup is that my own thoughts, attitude and energy have a direct effect on what I can get him to do, or how well he listens. If I am flustered, or nervous, or upset in any way he will not want to listen as well as if I am calm, cool and collected.
I saw early on that this rule fits for dealing with children too. It is like dogs and kids have a sixth sense and just know when you are not your best you. But it just recently dawned on me that the same goes for all relationships. If I am angry from something that happened earlier, I had better not come home and try to have a discussion with my hubby asking him why he did something a certain way or why he didn't do something else. No matter how I phrase the words, he will pick up on my angry energy from earlier and think it is directed at him. I may have sat down with the intention of simply planning the weekend activities, but because he sensed anger, that I could not even detect in myself, the conversation becomes an argument.
So now, before training our dog, teaching my child, or trying to collaborate with my hubby, I take a few deep breathes, go to my happy place and let go of everything that bothered me from the last few days. It really has worked well. So I guess you could say that I am learning how to take control of my state of mind before attempting to talk to someone else. Who knew that in trying to teach a dog new tricks, he would have taught me how to communicate better with my loved ones.
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